today, I went in the shower

rotated the left lever

neglected the right

and stepped into steam and heat

to feel just half of you

on the skin

I wish you were inside.

pushing up against the

the blank-faced tiles,

cool and hard

and nothing like I imagined you.

for the water 

never reached my bones

only penetrated my pores

and left little red lesions

all over my body.

only that steam,

could I huff to feel

just a trace of you,

as I repeat to myself,

I’m cold. 

I’m freezing.

I’m so damn cold.